Fashionable monsters and fashions in writing

Like anything else popular the world of writing has its fashions and fads, largely provoked by reader enthusiasms and the overlay of movie characters and stories with those solely found in books. One of the strangest fashions about though has got to be one that's all too obvious at the moment, now that we're all sick and tired of romantic vampires. And that is that monsters can be, have been and will be fashionable.


The strange thing about monsters being fashionable is not that we choose to find all monsters fashionable at once but rather that we choose one monster to be fashionable at a time and generally caste the others by the wayside as uncool in the process. Pity the frankenstein's monsters. I've only read one series of late where they've had a mention. Luckily this series is a fantastic read and breathes new life into these creatures that are barely living in the first place (Simon R Green's Nightside series if you're interested).


So not long before vampires hit the big time, and I don't mean good old scary vampires but rather those horrible overly-romantic incarnations that don't have one ring of truth about them, were the werewolves. Now werewolves are often paired with vampires in a bid to keep both popular when both are fairly worn out re characterisation. Still, I do appreciate the return of the vicious werewolf to most of our current stories although I argue that they're heads and tails more capable of dominating the vampires if only someone would dare to write such a story (feel free to disagree but they do move about in the day, keep their reason and strength most of the time and aren't controlled by bloodlust all the time).

(Sorry, had to include this picture even though just looking at his expression makes me cringe...)

Even in children's stories, toys and movies there are fads and fashions. Fairies have had a fairly constant popularity amongst the young but the unicorns go in and out of favour with children. Gnomes, pixies and dwarves have fairly dropped off the radar except in the Grimm's fairytale remakes and the occasional Disney movie but there is a place for the scary but golden-hearted monster now. From Gruffalo to Monster's Inc the scary monster has been made over much like vampires have been (minus the romance), making them cute and cuddly if not on the outside then the inside.


Before the latest loves of vampires and werewolves (don't forget they had a few bouts of popularity and then stigmatism before) and scary golden-hearted monsters were giant beasts made so by radiation, furry but highly destructive gremlins and alien monsters (could be intelligent if they were lucky) who visited us or we encountered in our space adventures. While they all retain a certain place in our hearts because they were so loved they are in fact largely unfashionable now unless a master story-teller is at work. Newbies eat your heart out. Nerds and geeks both would complain that none of these were now uncool and they'd be right as far as I'm concerned but then I am one of the nerds and geeks. My vote is biased.

If you wrote on these unfashionable but still cool monsters now either of two things would happen. You'd either usher them back into massive popularity or you'd never see you work properly recognised, whether it goes to print or not. The trick to writing a popular piece is something most writers are unsure of and in fact are surprised by when it happens to their work some ten years after the initial publication. Why that is, is because fashion is a completely illogical thing.


Fashion is based on any combination of mass peer pressure, a sudden and unpredictable liking of the masses for something possibly considered horrendous at any other time that needs to be justified (enter peer pressure again), a sudden and unpredictable return of the masses to classic loves usually brought on by overdoing the previous fashion or by the reaching of middle age by the largest group of consumers (that old mid-life crisis thing comes into play), individuality being mass produced by a or many companies which are followed en masse by those desiring something 'new' or 'fresh', the popular opinion of a large group of people voting individually (the fashion most hope for as it is the most pure re fan appreciation), the announcement of something as fashionable by the elite of the industry which is then backed up by subordinates or anyone who wants to be in the know. It is quite hard to predict what is going to change when in any particular industry unless you happen to be in a position to change fashion. As a writer, there isn't much of a chance unless you're already doing rather well and get recognised by those in a parallel story-based industry.

That leaves writers with a simple choice. Follow fashion and risk being labelled a follower or a user of stereotypes. Or break fashion and strike out on your own, whether through subverting stereotypes and current fashion or by ignoring it altogether, to risk being unrecognised or quickly forgotten.


Personally, I'd say just write what you're comfortable with so that the world in your mind is portrayed in brilliant colour to someone else even though it is transferred through black scribbles. That way, fashionable or no, popular monster included or no, the story will be appreciated. You might find yourself stuck in the middle road of success for longer (or not if you're lucky) but you will have your work appreciated for its intensity.

Allergy free mini creamy chicken and corn pies recipe

One batch is 24 mini pies. Any leftovers, make a normal sized single pie out of them.

Ingredients

Pastry

• 1 batch allergy free shortcrust pastry (see posted recipe), returned to room temp.
• 1 batch allergy free puff pastry (see posted recipe), chilled

Filling

• Cooking olive oil
• 200g chicken mince
• ½ cup warm water
• ⅓ chicken stock cube
• ⅓ cup creamed corn (can buy half cup cans)
• Pepper to taste
• 1 tbsp cornflour
• 1 small corncob, kernels removed

Method

Pastry

• Prepare the pastries so that there is at least 2 hours chilling time prior to usage.
• Make sure there is enough puff pastry rolled out initially to cover all the pies without re-rolling. When excess puff pastry is rerolled, after being formed into a ball, it looses its ability to puff.

Filling

• Cook the mince in large pot with the cooking olive oil.
• Remove from the heat once cooked through.
• In a small saucepan, combine the warm water, chicken stock cube, creamed corn and pepper together.
• Whisk until the chicken stock is mostly dissolved or crumbled apart.
• Slowly sprinkle over the cornflour, whisking all the while.
• Once the cornflour has been added turn the heat to medium and whisk continuously until the sauce thickens.
• Add the corn kernels and whisk for a ½ minute more.
• Fold the sauce into the chicken mince while the mince is still hot.
• Leave off the heat to cool completely before filling the pastry or your pastry will become too soggy to handle.

Pie Construction and Cooking

• Grease a mini muffin/pie pan.
• Line each pie hole with shortcrust pastry, cutting away the excess and re-rolling it as necessary.
• Add filling to the top of each pie without layering it over the edge of the pastry.
• Cut small square pieces of puff pastry and lay them over the filling, making sure the pastry edges line up.
• Carefully press the edges together with the prongs of a fork.
• Cut away excess with a small round cookie cutter.
• Spike the tops with a prong so steam can escape.
• Cook for approximately 20-25 minutes on 200°C.
• Allow to cool on a wire rack after 5 minutes in the pan so that the bottoms harden.

Allergy free peach and vanilla pikelets recipe

Ingredients

• 1 cup Orgran self-raising flour
• 1 tbs caster sugar
• Pinch of salt
• ¼ cup goat’s milk
• ½ cup peach nectar
• ½ tsp vanilla essence
• ½ peach sliced very fine, julienned
• 1 tsp Orgran No Egg whisked with 30mls water until thick
• Nuttlex, melted, to grease the pan

Method

• Sift the flour and sugar together into a bowl with a pinch of salt.
• Whisk the goat’s milk, peach nectar, vanilla essence and Orgran No Egg mixture together.
• Then add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, whisking until smooth.
• Fold in the sliced peach.
• Heat a non-stick frypan over medium heat and brush with a little melted Nuttlex. Drop level tablespoons of the pikelet mixture into the pan and cook for half a minute or until bubbles appear on the surface.
• Turn over and cook other side for 1 minute until golden.

Allergy free curried vegetable fritters recipe

No, they aren't burnt but the oil did get a bit hot at one stage. Never mind, a little crisp never hurt anyone.

Ingredients

• 1 cup Orgran self-raising flour
• 2 tsp Orgran No Egg whisked with 60mls until thick
• ½ cup goat’s milk, may need a tad more after mixing
• 1 medium zucchini, finely grated
• 1 large carrot, peeled, finely grated
• ½ cup small orange sweet potato, peeled, finely grated
• 1 small red capsicum, finely chopped
• 1 medium corncob, kernels removed
• 3 shallots, thinly sliced
• 2 teaspoons mild curry powder
• Olive oil for cooking

To serve

• ½ cup plain yoghurt (for those who can have cow's milk)
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh mint leaves

Method

• Sift the flour into a bowl and make a well in the centre.
• Whisk the goat’s milk and No Egg mixture together in a separate small bowl.
• Add the milk mixture to flour and whisk and beat until smooth.
• Using your hands, squeeze the excess moisture from zucchini and carrot.
• Add the zucchini, carrot, sweet potato, capsicum, corn, shallots and curry powder to batter.
• Stir to combine.
• Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a frying pan over a medium heat.
• Using a ¼ cup to measure the mixture per fritter. Flatten the mixture slightly once poured into the pan. (Treat them like pikelets.)
• Cook for approximately 2-3 minutes each side or until golden and cooked through.
• Transfer the fritters to a plate lined with a paper towel.
• Add more oil to pan between batches if necessary.
• Repeat to cook the remaining mixture.
• For those who can have cow's milk, just before serving stir the mint through the yoghurt.

Note

• When you get to the bottom of the bowl of mixture, try not to scoop up too much of the liquid pooling at the bottom. Doing this will only make the fritters soggy and hard to cook without burning.
• For finger food it is best to cut each into four triangles.

Allergy free shortcrust pastry recipe

This batch is double the below ingredients (except the gluten free gluten) and even when thicker than how I'll use it, it covered a large pizza tray. The below recipe will easily cover the base of one pie.

Ingredients

• 1 cup Orgran all purpose flour
• Pinch of salt
• ⅓ cup Orgran gluten free gluten (You'll only need up to ½ cup if doubling the mixture)
• ½ cup Nuttlex
• 1 tsp Orgran No Egg whisked with 60mls water until thick
• 1 tbs chilled water

Method

• Combine the flour, gluten free gluten and salt in a large bowl.
• Rub in the Nuttlex until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.
• Whisk the No Egg mixture and 1 tablespoon chilled water in a bowl until combined then add the No Egg mixture to the flour mixture.
• Combine until the mixture begins to form large clumps then lightly roll and press the pastry together until smooth. Do not stretch and pull as there is no real gluten.
• Dust your work surface with flour and roll out the dough to the desired shape. Keep the dough thicker than needed at this stage so that it is easy to handle.
• Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, preferably overnight.
• Lightly roll to desired thinness just before use.

Best fictional detectives

As there are so many great detectives I decided to choose by those that had they greatest impact on our culture and the genre. Some are so well done they have become the meaning of detective to us. Sometimes they appear in detective fiction and sometimes in genre fiction of a different nature but these characters are detectives at heart nonetheless.

Sam Spade

Sherlock Holmes

Miss Marple

Hercule Poirot

Columbo (ruffled child of Sam Spade)

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

Dick Tracy (Columbo's older brother/uncle)

Jessica Fletcher (Miss Marple's nosy niece)

The No. 1 lady detective: Mma Precious Ramotswe

Dr Temperance "Bones" Brennan

Elijah Bailey and R. Daneel Olivaw

Harry Dresden

Chief Inspector Adam Dalgliesh

Inspector Morse (Adam Dalgliesh's mutant clone)

Dirk Gently

Adrian Monk

Doctor Who

Batman

Runner up

Eve Dallas

She has had a big beginning but hasn't yet expanded her presence to the point of being well-known enough to be 'detective' in our minds. Fingers crossed though.

Allergy free quick puff pastry recipe

Isn't quite as flaky as store bought normal puff pastry as there are only a few layers rather than dozens. Still, this is crispy on top, soft underneath, rich yet pleasing in flavour and crispy enough to eat that you think puff pastry.

Ingredients

• 1 cup Orgran all purpose flour
• 1/3 cup Orgran gluten free gluten
• Pinch of salt
• 1 cup Nuttlex
• 100ml cold water
• Spare Nuttlex

For this single-double pot pie I halved the ingredients as I didn't need a full serve of pastry. For a full pie you should double the amount as this is for one normal sized piece of puff pastry. If doubling, divide the dough in two and roll the two sheets separately.

Method

• Sift the flour, gluten free gluten and salt into a large bowl.
• Add the Nuttlex to the flour and roughly rub it in using your hands until there are some chunks left but it has been combined evenly.
• Make a well in the centre and add the water.
• Combine, adding a little more water if necessary, until you have firm rough dough.
• Roll out on a lightly floured board into to a rectangle about 20cm x 50cm. You should be able to see streaks of Nuttlex in the pastry. Be careful not to make the dough too sticky but allow it to be fairly wet. Use dusted flour to handle.
• Using a piece of greaseproof paper or cling wrap, dip the paper/wrap in the Nuttlex and lightly wipe it over the pastry to leave a very thin layer on the dough. (This helps create the puff in puff pastry as the Nuttlex lets off steam.) 
• Fold a third of the pastry into the centre then fold the bottom third up over that. (Much the same as you fold paper to put in an envelope.)
• Give the dough a quarter turn and roll it out again.
• Repeat the adding of extra Nuttlex, folding, rolling and turning at least twice more.
• Wrap in cling wrap and place on a flat plate.
• Chill the pastry for 30 minutes before using.
• Cook at 180-200°C for 20-30 minutes.

Note

• Be very gentle with the pastry at each stage as it is even more fragile than normal puff pastry.
• There are more ingredients to make this too sticky to handle than too dry so add flour until it is just manageable. The dough gains a little strength as it is folded but be careful not to roll it out too thin just before wrapping.

Where do all the old typewriters go?

For more: Jeremy Mayer