The great Spike Milligan

I grew up to the comedy of Spike Milligan and Peter Sellers. I'd wish that for anyone. Legends. To lighten the rainy day, a dose of Spike, a master of words and comedy.

"The value of English."

"The bum of the flightlebee."

"A local disturbance."

"And verily, by morning, thy could strike matches on them."

A Silly Poem

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,

I'll draw a sketch of thee,

What kind of pencil shall I use?

2B or not 2B?

Bongaloo

'What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?'

'A Bongaloo, Son,' said I, 

'Is a tall bag of cheese

Plus a Chinaman's knees

And the leg of a nanny goat's eye.'

'How strange is a Bongaloo, Daddy?' 

'As strange as strange,' I replied.

'When the sun's in the West 

It appears in a vest 

Sailing out with the noonday tide.'

'What shape is a Bongaloo, Daddy?' 

'The shape, my Son, I'll explain:

It's tall round the nose 

Which continually grows 

In the general direction of Spain.'

'Are you sure there's a Bongaloo, Daddy?'

'Am I sure, my Son?' said I.

'Why, I've seen it, not quite 

On a dark sunny night

Do you think that I'd tell you a lie? 

Bump

Things that go 'bump' in the night

Should not really give one a fright.

It's the hole in each ear

That lets in the fear,

That, and the absence of light!

Contagion

Elephants are contagious!
Be careful how you tread.
An Elephant that's been trodden on
Should be confined to bed!

Leopards are contagious too.
Be careful tiny tots.
They don't give you a temperature
But lots and lots - of spots.

The Herring is a lucky fish
From all disease inured.
Should he be ill when caught at sea;
Immediately - he's cured!

A great kiddy poem.

And who can forget the Goon Show.