1. Tentacle monsters are everywhere, as are cat people (usually girls).
2. Sword size equates to penis size unless you happen to be an unlucky overcompensating villain.
3. The leading lady almost always has the biggest breasts but even if she doesn't her best friend will. And whoever has them will bathe, trip over and be caught undressing a lot.
4. Electrocution will not kill you (unless you deserve it).
5. Children, particularly those in school, are almost always smarter than adults.
6. Female characters enforce moral values using whatever violent means they are capable of. Even the strongest hero will bow before her anger.
7. There will always be at least one cute creature or person, probably with big shimmering eyes. They might also be incredible violent and mentally unstable so approach with caution.
8. Everything explodes.
9. Emotions are in the air, be they love, hate, anger, happiness or sadness.
10. Dramatic lighting can always be conjured up at the right moment.
