Strange and funny English words part III

Agastopia

Admiration of a particular part of a woman's body.

Anencephalous

Characterized by partial or total absence of a brain

Batrachomyomachy

The battle between the frogs and mice; a Greek parody on the Iliad, of uncertain authorship.

Bibble

A pebble.

One of those little stones that gets trapped in your shoe when you are walking.

Borborygm

A rumbling or gurgling noise produced by wind in the bowels.

Catercornered

Diagonal.

In a diagonal position.

Crudivore

An eater of raw food

Depone

To give testimony by affidavit or deposition.

Swear: make a deposition; declare under oath.

Doodle sack

A bagpipe. 

Erinaceous

Of, pertaining to, or resembling a hedgehog.

Fard

To paint the face with cosmetics.

To gloss over.

Finnimbrun

A trifle, trinket or knick-knack.

Gabelle

The gabelle was a very unpopular tax on salt in France before 1790. 

Gaberlunzie

A wandering beggar.

Gardyloo!

Used by servants in medieval Scotland to warn passers-by of waste about to be thrown from a window into the street below.

Gastromancy

A form of divination involving listening to stomach sounds.

A form of divination by gazing into a crystal ball or a glass full of water.

Gobemouche

Literally, a fly swallower; hence, once who keeps his mouth open.

A boor; a silly and credulous person.

A highly gullible person.

Gongoozle

To leisurely watch the passage of boats, from the bank of a canal, lock or bridge.

To observe things idly.

Halfpace

A raised floor or dais or a platform or footpace at the top of steps, as for a throne or an altar.

A landing of a staircase like a broad step between two half flights.

Impignorate

To impignorate or pignorate means to put up as security or to pawn.

Inaniloquent

Given to talking inanely.

Loquacious.

Garrulous.

Jentacular

Of or pertaining to a breakfast taken early in the morning, or immediately on getting up.

Kakorrhaphiophobia

The fear of failure or defeat.

Lagopodous

In zoology, hare-footed

Having the feet densely furry or feathery, as a lemming or a ptarmigan.

Lamprophony

Loudness and clarity of enunciation.

Limerance

An involuntary cognitive and emotional state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person.

Macrosmatic

Having the sense or organs of smell highly developed 

Mesonoxian

Pertaining to the hour of midnight.

Of or related to midnight.

Nihilarian

One who subscribes to nihilism.

Of or pertaining to nihilism.

Nudiustertian

Of or pertaining to the day before yesterday.

Oocephalus

An individual characterized by an egg-shaped head.

A skull shape disorder.

Pandiculation

Yawning and stretching, as when first waking up.

Pauciloquent

Using few words when speaking.

Brief in speech.

Phenakism

Deception.

Trickery.

Pulveratricious

Nesting on the ground.

Covered with dust.

Ranivorous

Pertaining to creatures that eat frogs.

(Ranivore) frog-eating.

Rastaquouere

A social upstart, especially from a Mediterranean or Latin American country.

A smooth untrustworthy foreigner.

Selcouth

Strange, unusual, rare.

Marvellous, wondrous.

Sialoquent

Spitting while speaking.

Slangwhanger

One who verbally attacks others; normally a politician or editor.

Smellfungus

An excessively fault-finding person.

A perpetual pessimist

Snickersnee

Knife fight: fighting with knives.

A knife resembling a sword.

Snollygoster

A shrewd person not guided by principles, especially a politician.

Turdiform

Of, relating to or resembling a thrush, or any other bird of the family Turdidae.

Tyrotoxism

Tyrotoxism is the poisoning of one with cheese or any other milk product. 

Ulotrichous

Having woolly, curly or crispy hair.

Xertz

To gulp down quickly and greedily.

Zabernism

Abusive misuse of military authority.

Bullying.

Zoanthropy

The delusion that you have assumed the form of an animal.

Ugliest words in English

You may be thinking these are words to avoid in your writing but don't be so quick to exclude them. There are many perfect for children's books, especially those to do with bodily functions. Others can be used specifically to heighten the tension or negative reaction a reader will feel. They could ruin a poetic piece if used incorrectly or they could make a story by highlighting the difference between good and bad situations, pleasant and unpleasant surrounds etc. The key is to use them wisely.

• Bunion: a painful swelling on the first joint of the big toe.
• C-word: a woman’s genitals, an unpleasant or stupid person.
• Cacophony: a harsh discordant mixture of sounds
• Cataclysm: a large-scale and violent event in the natural world, a sudden violent political or social upheaval.
• Chafe: with reference to a part of the body) make or become sore by rubbing against something, [no object] (of an object) rub abrasively against another, [with object] rub (a part of the body) to restore warmth or sensation, become or make annoyed or impatient because of a restriction or inconvenience,
• Chunk: a thick, solid piece of something, (in psychology or linguistic analysis) group together (connected items or words) so that they can be stored or processed as single concepts.
• Coarse: rough or harsh in texture, (of a person or their speech) rude or vulgar, British relating to the sport of angling for coarse fish.
• Cockroach: a beetle-like scavenging insect with long antennae and legs. Several tropical kinds have become established worldwide as household pests.
• Crepuscular: resembling or relating to twilight.
• Crotch: the part of the human body between the legs where they join the torso, a fork in a tree, road, or river.
• Crunch: crush (a hard or brittle foodstuff) with the teeth, making a loud but muffled grinding sound, (especially of a computer) process (large quantities of information), [usually in singular] a loud muffled grinding sound like that of something hard or brittle being crushed, (the crunch) a crucial point or situation, typically one at which a decision with important consequences must be made, a physical exercise designed to strengthen the abdominal muscles; a sit-up.
• Curdle: separate or cause to separate into curds or lumps,
• Cynical: believing that people are motivated purely by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity, concerned only with one’s own interests and typically disregarding accepted standards in order to achieve them.
• Decrepit: worn out or ruined because of age or neglect.
• Discharge: tell (someone) officially that they can or must leave, in particular, allow (a liquid, gas, or other substance) to flow out from where it has been confined, do all that is required to perform (a duty) or fulfil (a responsibility), Law: (of a judge or court) cancel (an order of a court), the action of discharging someone from a hospital or from the armed forces or police, the action of discharging a liquid, gas, or other substance, the action of doing all that is required to fulfil a responsibility or perform a duty, Law: the cancellation of an order of a court.
• Disgust: a feeling of revulsion or strong disapproval aroused by something unpleasant or offensive, cause (someone) to feel revulsion or strong disapproval.
• Fetid: smelling extremely unpleasant.
• Flatulent: suffering from or marked by an accumulation of gas in the alimentary canal.
• Grimace: an ugly, twisted expression on a person’s face, typically expressing disgust, pain, or wry amusement.
• Gripe: [no object] complain about something in a persistent, irritating way, [with object] (usually as adjective griping) affect with gastric or intestinal pain,  [with object]  grasp tightly; clutch, [with object] Nautical: secure (a boat) with gripes, a minor complaint, [mass noun] gastric or intestinal pain; colic, an act of grasping something tightly, (gripes) Nautical lashings securing a boat in its place on deck or in davits.
• Grotesque: comically or repulsively ugly or distorted, a very ugly or comically distorted figure or image, [mass noun] Printing a family of 19th century sans serif typefaces.
• Harangue: a lengthy and aggressive speech, lecture (someone) at length in an aggressive and critical manner.
• Hate: intense dislike, feel intense dislike for.
• Hirsute: hairy.
• Hoarse: (of a person’s voice) sounding rough and harsh, typically as the result of a sore throat or of shouting.
• Honk: the cry of a wild goose, make or cause to make a honk, [no object] vomit.
• Jazz: a type of music of black American origin which emerged at the beginning of the 20th century, characterised by improvisation, syncopation, and usually a regular or forceful rhythm. Brass and woodwind instruments and piano are particularly associated with jazz, although guitar and occasionally violin are also used; styles include Dixieland, swing, bebop, and free jazz.
• Juror: a member of a jury, historical a person taking an oath, especially one of allegiance.
• Leech: an aquatic or terrestrial annelid worm with suckers at both ends. Many species are bloodsucking parasites, especially of vertebrates, and others are predators, a person who extorts profit from or sponges on others, habitually exploit or rely on.
• Maladroit: inefficient or inept; clumsy.
• Mediocre: of only average quality; not very good.
• Moist: slightly wet, Medicine: marked by a fluid discharge.
• Mucus: a slimy substance, typically not miscible with water, secreted by the mucous membranes and glands of animals for lubrication, protection, etc.
• Obstreperous: noisy and difficult to control.
• Ointment: a smooth oily substance that is rubbed on the skin for medicinal purposes or as a cosmetic.
• Onus: a smooth oily substance that is rubbed on the skin for medicinal purposes or as a cosmetic.
• Ooze: [no object, with adverbial of direction] (of a fluid) slowly trickle or seep out of something,  [with object] give a powerful impression of (a quality), [mass noun] the sluggish flow of a fluid, an infusion of oak bark or other vegetable matter, used in tanning.
• Patriotism: the quality of being patriotic; vigorous support for one’s country.
• Pernickety: placing too much emphasis on trivial or minor details; fussy.
• Phlegm: the thick viscous substance secreted by the mucous membranes of the respiratory passages, especially when produced in excessive quantities during a cold.
• Phlegmatic: (of a person) having an unemotional and stolidly calm disposition.
• Plump: having a full rounded shape, shake or pat (a cushion or pillow) to adjust its stuffing and make it rounded and soft.
• Plutocrat: having a full rounded shape, shake or pat (a cushion or pillow) to adjust its stuffing and make it rounded and soft.
• Pregnant: (of a woman or female animal) having a child or young developing in the uterus, full of meaning; significant or suggestive.
• Puke: vomit.
• Pulchritude: beauty.
• Pus: a thick yellowish or greenish opaque liquid produced in infected tissue, consisting of dead white blood cells and bacteria with tissue debris and serum.
• Putrid: (of organic matter) decaying or rotting and emitting a fetid smell, very unpleasant; repulsive.
• Quaff: drink (something, especially an alcoholic drink) heartily, an alcoholic drink.
• Rancid: (of foods containing fat or oil) smelling or tasting unpleasant as a result of being old and stale: rancid meat.
• Regurgitate: bring (swallowed food) up again to the mouth.
• Repugnant: extremely distasteful; unacceptable, (repugnant to) in conflict or incompatible with.
• Repulsive: arousing intense distaste or disgust, relating to repulsion between physical objects, lacking friendliness or sympathy.
• Routine: a sequence of actions regularly followed, performed as part of a regular procedure rather than for a special reason, organize according to a routine.
• Rural: in, relating to, or characteristic of the countryside rather than the town.
• Sap: the fluid which circulates in the vascular system of a plant, consisting chiefly of water with dissolved sugars and mineral salts, gradually weaken or destroy (a person’s strength or power).
• Scab: a dry, rough protective crust that forms over a cut or wound during healing, [mass noun] mange or a similar skin disease in animals, a person or thing regarded with contempt, become encrusted or covered with a scab or scabs, act or work as a scab.
• Schmear: an underhand inducement, a smear or spread, flatter or ingratiate oneself with (someone).
• Shriek: utter a high-pitched piercing sound or words, especially as an expression of terror, pain, or excitement, a high-pitched piercing cry or sound; a scream, an exclamation mark.
• Shrill: (of a voice or sound) high-pitched and piercing, make a shrill noise, a shrill sound or cry.
• Shun: persistently avoid, ignore, or reject (someone or something) through antipathy or caution.
• Slaughter: kill (animals) for food.
• Smegma: a sebaceous secretion in the folds of the skin, especially under a man’s foreskin.
• Synergy: the interaction or cooperation of two or more organisations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.
• Tax: a compulsory contribution to state revenue, levied by the government on workers' income and business profits, or added to the cost of some goods, services, and transactions, [in singular] a strain or heavy demand, impose a tax on (someone or something), make heavy demands on (someone’s powers or resources), confront (someone) with a fault or wrongdoing, examine and assess (the costs of a case).
• Treachery: betrayal of trust.
• Ugly: unpleasant or repulsive, especially in appearance, involving or likely to involve violence or other unpleasantness.
• Unctuous: excessively flattering or ingratiating; oily, (chiefly of minerals) having a greasy or soapy feel.
• Visceral: relating to the viscera, relating to deep inward feelings rather than to the intellect.
• Vomit: eject matter from the stomach through the mouth, [mass noun] matter vomited from the stomach, an emetic.

Thanks to: Oxford English Dictionary, Netscape Fun & Games, Alta, Daily Writing Tips, Six Things, Words Gone Wild.

Words first put to manuscript by Chaucer

From: harvardsententiae.org

There are roughly 2000 words found in Chaucer's manuscripts that aren't found in manuscripts printed previously. This doesn't mean he invented the words or that alternate versions of these words weren't in common speech of use in manuscripts. But these words are written and used they are today. Considering Chaucer wrote in Middle English, this is pretty interesting.

These words include (I've highlighted my favourites): 

Absent, Acceptable, Accident, Add, Agree, Alan, Alight, Amble, Amble, Ambler, Annex, Approver, Arc, Army, Arrayed, Arrive, Ascendant, Award, Bagpipe, Bedstraw, Begged, Bet, Bodkin, Bolt, Borax, Border, Bourdon, Box, Bracer, Bragget, Bream, Breastplate, Bribe, Bribery, Buckle, Bum, Bumble, Cape, Caterwaul, Ceruse, Chant, Chime, Chose, Cinnamon, Circe, Citrine, Clasp, Clink, Collared, Collect, Considering, Constabless, Constant, Convertible, Cordial, Corny, Corpus, Court-man, Crone, Dagger, Debtless, Declination, Definitive, Demoniac, Demonstrative, Desk, Determinate, Digestible, Digestion, Dilatation, Disfigure, Dishonest, Dives, Domination, Dormant, Easement, Ecclesiast, Envelop, Equally, Equation, Erect, Exaltation, Examination, Execute, Expanse, Expel, Expulsive, Falconer, Faring, Fart, Femininity, Finally, Flattering, Flute, Fluttery, Foal, Foot-mantle, Forge, Foster, Frowning, Funeral, Galaxy, Gaud, Gaze, Halfway, Harry, Haunch-bone, Hippocras, Hodge, Horizon, Hostelry, Householder, Howl, Huntress, In, Inclination, Infect, Ingot, Intellect, Interrogation, Jingle, Kneading, Kneading-trough, Knob, Lab, Lacing, Latitude, Laureate, Laxative, Licentiate, Line, Luce, Lucina, Lure, Magic, Magician, Man of law, Marquisess, Marrowbone, Martian, Melancholic, Menacing, Mercenary, Miscarry, Mishap, Mislie, Moral, Mortal, Mortally, Motive, Mover, Murmur, Murmuring, Muzzle, Muse, Narcotic, Nod, Notable, Nowell, Nymph, Obscure, Observe, Obstacle, Opie, Opposite, Opposition, Ordinate, Out, Outcry, Outrageous, Pardoner, Party, Patent, Peace, Pearl, Pilate, Pegasus, Peregrine, Perpendicular, Persian, Perturb, Pharmacy, Piercing, Piping, Plain, Plumage, Policy, Popper, Poppet, Porteous, Portraiture, Possibility, Preamble, Preambulation, Resemblance, Preen, Prenticehood, Princess, Procreation, Progression, Refuge, Proportional, Prospection, Prospective, Quack, Renting, Resolve, Resound, Returning, Reveller, Reverberation, Rigour, Rioter, Rumour, Sack, Saffron, Sane, Save, Saving, Scissors, Score, Seriously, Serve, Session, Sheffield, Shelf, Shouting, Sip, Slumber, Smiler, Snort, Sold, Sole, Spaniel, Spence, Squire, Stew, Strangle, Strangling, Struggle, Superlative, Stubborn, Superstitious, Swarm, Swive, Tartar, Tester, Theatre, Thick and thin, Thoroughfare, Tip, Trench, Trill, Trip, Tub, Turret, Universe, Utility, Vacation, Valentine, Vanishing, Variation, Varnish, Veal, Very, Vicar general, Victorious, Village, Visage, Vital, Vomit, Vulgar, Wallet, Whippletree, Whistling, Wildness, Winged, Wrack.

If you want to get a proper understanding of why these words are so significant, here is a section of The Cook's Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer (1340?-1400), as written: 

THE COOK'S PROLOGUE

The cook of londoun, whil the reve spak,
For joye him thoughte he clawed him on the bak.
Ha! ha! quod he, for cristes passion,
This millere hadde a sharp conclusion
Upon his argument of herbergage!
Wel seyde salomon in his langage,
-- Ne bryng nat every man into thyn hous; --
For herberwynge by nyghte is perilous.
Wel oghte a man avysed for to be
Whom that he broghte into his pryvetee.
I pray to god, so yeve me sorwe and care
If evere, sitthe I highte hogge of ware,
Herde I a millere bettre yset a-werk.
He hadde a jape of malice in the derk.
But God forbede that we stynte heere;
And therfore, if ye vouche-sauf to heere
A tale of me, that am a povre man,
I wol yow telle, as wel as evere I kan,
A litel jape that fil in oure citee.
Oure hoost answerde and seide, I graunte it thee.
Now telle on, roger, looke that it be good;
For many a pastee hastow laten blood,
And many a jakke of dovere hastow soold
That hath been twies hoot and twies coold.
Of many a pilgrym hastow cristes curs,
For of thy percely yet they fare the wors,
That they han eten with thy stubbel goos;
For in thy shoppe is many a flye loos.
Now telle on, gentil roger by thy name.
But yet I pray thee, be nat wroth for game;
A man may seye ful sooth in game and pley.
Thou seist ful sooth, quod roger, by my fey!
But -- sooth pley, quaad pley, -- as the flemyng seith.
And therfore, herry bailly, by thy feith,
Be thou nat wrooth, er we departen heer,
Though that my tale be of an hostileer.
But nathelees I wol nat telle it yit;
But er we parte, ywis, thou shalt be quit.
And therwithal he lough and made cheere,
And seyde his tale, as ye shul after heere.

 THE COOK'S TALE 

A prentys whilom dwelled in oure citee,
And of a craft of vitailliers was hee.
Gaillard he was as goldfynch in the shawe,
Broun as a berye, a propre short felawe,
With lokkes blake, ykembd ful fetisly.
Dauncen he koude so wel and jolily
That he was cleped perkyn revelour.
He was as ful of love and paramour
As is the hyve ful of hony sweete:
Wel was the wenche with hym myghte meete.
At every bridale wolde he synge and hoppe;
He loved bet the taverne than the shoppe.
For whan ther any ridyng was in chepe,
Out of the shoppe thider wolde he lepe --
Til that he hadde al the sighte yseyn,
And daunced wel, he wolde nat come ayeyn --
And gadered hym a meynee of his sort
To hoppe and synge and maken swich disport;
And ther they setten stevene for to meete,
To pleyen at the dys in swich a streete.
For in the toune nas ther no prentys
That fairer koude caste a paire of dys
Than perkyn koude, and therto he was free
Of his dispense, in place of pryvetee.
That fond his maister wel in his chaffare;
For often tyme he foond his box ful bare.
For sikerly a prentys revelour
That haunteth dys, riot, or paramour.
His maister shal it in his shoppe abye,
Al have he no part of the mynstralcye.
For thefte and riot, they been convertible,
Al konne he pleye on gyterne or ribible.
Revel and trouthe, as in a lowe degree,
They been ful wrothe al day, as men may see.
this joly prentys with his maister bood,
Til he were ny out of his prentishood,
Al were he snybbed bothe erly and late,
And somtyme lad with revel to newegate.
But atte laste his maister him bithoghte.
Upon a day, whan he his papir soghte,
Of a proverbe that seith this same word,
Wel bet is roten appul out of hoord
Than that it rotie al the remenaunt.
So fareth it by a riotous servaunt;
It is ful lasse harm to lete hym pace,
Than he shende alle the servantz in the place.
Therfore his maister yaf hym acquitance,
And bad hym go, with sorwe and with meschance!
And thus this joly prentys hadde his leve.
Now lat hym riote al the nyght or leve.
And for ther is no theef withoute a lowke,
That help eth hym to wasten and to sowke
Of that he brybe kan or borwe may,
Anon he sente his bed and his array
Unto a compeer of his owene sort,
That lovede dys, and revel, and disport,
And hadde a wyf that heeld for contenance
A shoppe, and swyved for hir sustenance.

It is well worth struggling to read Middle English when it comes to Chaucer's works. He was one cheeky writer and his works are filled with the crude, rude and immoral. Good for a laugh anytime.

Oldest words in the English language

You may still think that early humans lacked much that we have now with regards to fundamental elements of humanity when they didn't actually lack much, if anything, at all. They had societies, cultural practices, speech patterns, burial practices, beliefs and social methods of learning, arts, crafts, the inventive streak and many other things besides. But this isn't a look into all that. This is a look into just what those speech patterns likely consisted of.

Professor Pagel predicted that there were around 200 words not specific to culture or technology likely to have been used as early as the Stone age and later, which have remained relatively unscathed in sound and usage since their conception.

The age of these words was predicted using a computer program, a necessity since it was after speech (roughly 5,000 years ago) that writing was invented. I suspect that with early speech versions of Sign were likely used, rough and unstructured, but Sign of any sort would have helped getting messages across with so few early words to choose from. I believe, there were also likely more words or sounds used that aren't part of English now, or any other language.

(I just pictured everyone reading this making monkey grunts just now but that was only my prediction of what a few friends would say and do in response to this... You gotta love 'em.) 

Here are the words and age as predicted by Professor Pagel.

20,000 years old - Stone Age: 

I

We

Two

Three

Five

15,000 - 20,000 years old:

Thou

Who

The top 20 oldest words in order of age:

01. Who

02. Two
03. Three
04. I
05. Five
06. We

07. Four

08. How

09. One
10. Name
11. Tongue
12. New
13. Thou
14. What
15. Where
16. Star
17. To give
18. Night
19. Hand
20. To die

Read more:

• http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1156122/Revealed-The-worlds-oldest-words--ones-disappear.html#ixzz1pX8g77uP
• http://www.livescience.com/2283-writing-changed-world.html
• http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7911645.stm