Catty updates

After a few tries I managed to capture on camera what I could see easily. Bib ghosting it by the neighbour cat's dinner bowl.

Bib took the warm spot.

Must fit onto box...

Bib melted completely.

We'd learnt the lesson of not leaving Darrel Lea chocolates or liquorice out when they were both kittens. Simon forgot and paid the price.

Rainy day cuddles

Bib says I will be working sideways on this cold rainy day.

This is already becoming painful but at least I'm warm.

No, you will not work now. You will cuddle.

Do we understand?

Good morning!

Unable to move for cat - his claws are in my face and neck - I'm starting work typing on the sideways laptop with my one free hand. Oh, the other cat is sitting on my ribs.

Please hold while we warm up...

The rain is going sideways and our noses are freezing. Planning on a hot crumble but I refuse to move at the moment and so do they... 

The daily cat: hugs while updating and morning wake up meow

Late last night while I was tinkering on the back end of the blog I realised I hadn't posted something on my cats in a while, most posts having ended up on facebook. So here's my cats now.

Bob was keeping me company while I did the above late night tinkering.

It isn't exactly helpful but company is always loved.

Even if he decides to zap a thought into my mind.

"What? I can only just hear you."

!! "Alright, alright, I get the message!"

This morning's message went something like "Mom, get up. Why aren't doing normal things? We can't eat breakfast until you're normal."

"How long is she going to take?"

"Is she broken? Maybe I can kiss her awake?"

Queue kisses on the nose and purring until I can't deal anymore and have to get up.

So it was an early morning back at the tinkering.

And while I hold up breakfast

There's a cat pile forming.

What a writer needs to complete a story (from one learning as she goes)

• Practice
• A good vocabulary
• Time
• Ideas
• Ability to spot mistakes
• Eye for detail
• Patience
• Ability to consider being alone for long periods of time as pleasant
• Data entry skills
• Editing skills
• Ability to cope with repetition
• Ability to set your own hours
• Ability to set your own details
• Contacts within the publishing world
• Knowledge of reader demands and expectations
• Knowledge of publisher demands and expectations
• Imagination
• Obsession
• Excess mental energy (whatever shape it takes)
• Someone to help remind you of things like eating, cleaning, chores, paying bills, shopping etc. when you forget or get too engrossed in writing to tear yourself away
• Financial support if you don't have a job or savings and want to write more often than on trains or at night
• A comfortable spot to call your own (room or no, window or no)
• Personal knowledge on how to get started putting down complicated ideas
• An initial blast of energy
• An ability to keep reworking the same project over and over
• Ability to put on a personable front for meetings and public occasions
• Ability to use social media properly
• No fear of the phone
• Ability to research
• To keep track of industry trends
• Ability to view your work objectively and realistically
• Ability to avoid procrastinating
• Love of lists
• Ability to find silence or background noise whenever needed
• Ability to set aside your love of other people's stories long term to work on your own

Otherwise:

• A laptop or computer
• Tonnes of paper
• Pencils and pens
• Erasers
• Your mind (for the most part)
• More time than you'll believe

Quirky bookmarks

I've been buried in superannuation and editing all this morning and to lighten the mental strain I went searching for quirky bookmarks I could buy and ideas for ones I could make when I next need a mental break.

I want this one! Just pondering how I could make one.

Cute, though I can imagine breaking a lot of them, the tangles they could make and torn pages.

These look like they'd be simple to make but I have to figure out the pattern.

I like these. Drowning in words... I know the feeling.

Cat update: Rainy day cat pile hug

First I got buried under cat (the term for multiple cats acting with a singular thought - this one being "lap"). I had been working...

Then I got stuck providing hugs for entwined cat.

Then the pencil dropped on the floor and I couldn't get it back without smooshing entwined cat.

The pencil turned out to be lost forever under the couch and I have a new one.

But now we three are back to stage one. I am being eyed...

Cat lesson: The passive aggressive search for a hug

This is easy.

Search out whatever is taking attention away from you, sit on it and wait. This will ensure that a lap is made available for you.

Note: you may find yourself shifted about as your cushion will randomly decide that it is uncomfortable. Patience is required but if that fails to stop the cushion shifting then claws may be applied. 

Today's cat compromise

Bob doesn't look happy but he's purring like mad. I think the annoyed look is because I keep typing and disturbing his lazy time. Oh well, I have to keep on working.

Cat Lesson: The gentle art of bullying

A lesson from one of my cats.

His name is Bob or The Great Lump.

 First edge close.

And closer.

Pretend you aren't begging. You just happen to be there.

 Stare your message through. Really drill your thoughts into their mind.

When caught, pretend you weren't looking.

Receive consolation pat with much gratitude but refuse to move back so they have to pat you again. Any attention will lead somewhere.

 Finally, sit on the computer or other object gaining more attention than you.

This should result in rewards, namely food and cuddles.

Marmalade Cat

Today has been governed by two things. The first is Bonzo or Neighbour Cat as we call him. This is my spot and he's been here since this morning. I am currently sitting at the very edge of my spot, my back getting sore, wondering why I haven't thrown him off yet. Answer: I'm a sucker and well, the weathers cold and so was he and I felt sorry for him and he took advantage and he opened the door by himself which shows he really, really wanted in and yeah, I'm a sucker.

The second is this: I made marmalade from a full bag of oranges and one lemon. More than most recipes call for. I cut the amount of sugar in half too. Made an effort to slice the rinds super thin and I kept the pulp out so it is really clear. Very pretty when you look at it up close. It is still cooling and will probably take a few hours more.

Conclusion: Today is an orange day.

Now, back to business. Get rid of the headache and get back to editing.

Famous last words

This may seem like I've just randomly looked into famous last words for a blog post. But no, this post stemmed from my need to figure out what a character would say when facing a situation he believes will be the death of him. Of course, my solution was far more simple as I decided my character would simply swear. He does swear in Croatian, however, so I had to do a little interrogating of a friend from my school days in order to find the right swear word.

Actual famous last words:
(I am always morbidly interested in who wrote them down and why.)


"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.” - Oscar Wilde.


"Hey, Jimmie! The Chimney Sweeps.  Talk to the Sword.  Shut up, you got a big mouth! Please come help me up, Henny.  Max come over here.  French Canadian bean soup.  I want to pay.  Let them leave me alone.” - Arthur "Dutch Schultz" Flegenheimer, 1920's-30's gangster. Said while suffering a fever after being shot in the stomach.


"One last drink, please!" - Jack Daniel.

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...!" - John Sedgwick. Said just before being shot by a Confederate sharp shooter during the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House.

"Dying is easy, comedy is hard." - George Bernard Shaw.

"Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? "French Fries"!" - James French, murderer, who was sentenced to die by the electric chair.

"Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you're fooling around!" - Carl Pansram, serial killer, who was sentenced to hang.

"Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire. Said in response to being asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

Spot the Engrish

The aim of this game is to identify which lines are engrish (inaccurate Japanese to English translations whether spoken or written) and which lines are just poorly written English.

1. Hummels largest selection everif it's in stock, we have it!
2. Are you killing me?
3. Get a little john: the traveling urinal holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
4. Nice parachute never opened used once slightly stained
5. Producer sleeping in the house. Producer sleeping forever.
6. Free: farm kittens. ready to eat.
7. Repeat after me: carshrimp.
8. Eye drops off shelf
9. Squad helps dog bite victim
10. Dealers will hear car talk at noon
11. Very very danger!
12. Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
13. Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
14. Miners refuse to work after death
15. Do you know Japanese famous star?
16. Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
17. Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
18. Bye-bye cycle!
19. Police Begins Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
20. Hi my name is 2PM!
21. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
22. All go to helicopter sky?
23. Go club. Get drink. You stupid shit.
24. Panda Mating Falls; Veternarian Takes Over
25. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
26. I am GAY! G-Y-A! GAY!
27. Share me. Music with me?
28. Never Withold Herpes Infection from Loved One
29. Cows, calves never bred... also 1 gay bull for sale.
30. '83 Toyota hunchback -- $2000
31. Eat-o pancake.
32. Free Yorkshire terrier. 8 years old. unpleasant little dog.
33. Please dont touch yourself, let us help you to try out Thanks!
34. Soft & genital bath tissues or facial tissue89 cents
35. Do you like theme park?
36. Shakespeare's pizza free chopsticks
37. Happy ageless welcome to world leave your behind & wlecome to here I’ll be waitign here for you
38. I’m go to bad.
39. On sunday I used to ride my lovely automobile, I called him Tom and go around everywhere
40. …the person other has become tangible thing that keeps them together family home them…
41. I collect cars. I do it everyday.

Carvings made from lead pencils

Artist: Dalton Ghetti

(Plenty more where these came from.)