On the conversations of women in fiction

Big Bang Theory, while being fun all round is guilty on so many charges of stereotyping I don't know where to begin and whether pointing out the stereotyping against women only is too blinkered as there's so, so much applied to the men too, along with the careers, the nerdishness etc.

How often do you read or watch conversations between women in fiction and find that they're about men? Far too often, as far as I am concerned. And I'm left wondering as to the reason why. Do men need the emotional status of a woman with regards to their relationships explained in full, just not to them? Do men find it flattering that they're the centre of a conversation? Is it just unimaginable that women would talk about anything else? These questions all sound as though I'm assuming men are all 'bad' but that's not the case. It is more that for the purposes of fictional relationships there are certain internal emotions that need to be explained to the reader. And as often as not, these relationships and conversations are being written by women so seeing the questions above as anti-male isn't quite correct. What those questions come down to is: what to we think males can tolerate with regards to female conversations and emotional relationships as well as what do they expect? Also, for those works written by women for women, why do such trends stick? The how, where and why of conversations between women about men are complicated questions to answer.

First though, the what.

In fiction there is a tendency for conversations between women to revolve around men. And if this isn't the case then obviously it must be about the body, shoes or children. I say obviously as these are some of the main stereotypes about women and their conversations. Of course, stereotypes don't come out of no-where. It is indeed the case that women are quite concerned with children and family issues when they have or want them. It is also quite common to collect shoes as these are things women not only expect to wear but wear as they make a person feel better about themselves when they're of quality, just like a good suit makes a man feel snazzy and of worth. Women also do talk about their bodies when problems occur but so do men. Please reference the constant flood of man flu complaints if you don't believe me. Also, women gossip but so do men as this is an essential part of being a pack creature. One must communicate and understand everyone's current state as much as possible.

So, why the issue with fictional conversations between women largely being about such things? Well, real conversations between women run in different orders of importance and some of the above topics are actually rarely brought up. First of all, men. Men aren't brought up like "Hi, how are you and your relationships going?". They aren't at the top of the list even if they are of importance to a woman, which is definitely not always the case. There are other things to talk about like house plans, work issues, travel plans, the latest movie or book consumed, this awesome restaurant they just tried, what was done during time off, whether studying is going well or is a pain, who's being a pain and who's doing well, dreams and aspirations, how the business (big or small) is going and things of that nature. And if there's a hobby involved then there's usually a massive conversation revolving around that so there's plenty on gaming, movies, books, collecting, gardening, cooking, arts and crafts, pets and pet breeding etc etc. In other words, a general meeting of the minds and swapping of ideas. On top of that there's conversations of science, sociology, philosophy, psychology and all things related to life and life views. Shoes fit somewhere in the sub-types of collecting and as you have probably encountered, women will collect anything from dolls to video games.

There's also no definite correlation between a woman being unhappy so the relationship must be on the rocks as often found in fiction. There are many reasons a woman would be unhappy that take precedence over relationship issues and these issues are rarely brought up. Things like live conditions, health, education issues, work issues, harassment problems, difficulties doing tax before the tax office comes knocking, paying bills that are outrageous, dealing with companies that assume you aren't the person to deal with, issues with convincing others your worthy and intelligent despite being female and so on and so forth. Some of these might seem odd to those men reading this, mainly as you've probably not thought such things happen often enough or are that big of a deal but this is just about the varying reasons for a woman to be unhappy that aren't connected to relationships of any sort (other than by the assumption that if a woman has a partner the man is in charge of bills and company dealings). And if you don't believe such things as harassment, downgrading or disrespect occur often enough to women to be topics of conversation then think again. Seriously. And pay attention to what's going on around you.

Ah, two powerful women trying to talk about something other than Booth and sex... Failure is written all over Angela's face. Is it really because Bones is so inept in conversations? I wonder... Some of her conversation starters sound really interesting.

After and with all of the above comes conversations of the child, the first issue of the day if there's a child about as children always come first. These conversations usually sound something like this to begin with:
"Hi, how are you?"
Sigh, "It's been rough. The kids were mucking about and they set fire to the kitchen curtains. I put it out but the whole kitchen area needs fixing. So I rang the insurance company and the bastards only want to talk to ... as his name's on the account. Never mind that I'm the one always paying the bill. I've been trying to catch ...  while he's not working and can answer the phone but he's stuck in meetings so I haven't been able to arrange anything. So I went to the hardware to get a few things and ..."

Ramble, ramble, ramble and on to problem solving the insurance company and figuring out how to get the kids in line. It is usually like an information dump. All the crap that women have been dealing with by themselves and have had to smother to some extent in order to get along with said partner and children. There's nothing so neat and tidy as: "The hubby/boyfriend shouted at me today. I don't know if he loves me anymore. What do you think?" To be perfectly honest, women rarely talk about such things as they're very private issues and women are in fact aware of the gossipers amongst them. I should point out that there is a big difference between a conversation between women and gossiping. One does not equal the other. Don't think men don't gossip either. Men are terrible gossipers when they get going. It is unrelenting, and if they draw an opinion of you... Whoa Nelly, you aren't getting rid of it quickly.

So that's what a conversation sounds like if kids and partners exist in a woman's life. There's often a lot of frustration involved and relief at being able to talk about it all. What do they sound like without kids and partners? Well, the conversations aren't generally about shoes or periods. Forget that. And none are done in the nude unless the conversation is between two lesbians (I mention this as I just read an eye-roll worthy scene about two women talking about a man while nude that ended up with one woman kneeling over another - tits in face - and then one tickling the other. Neither were lesbians and I can't even imagine this scenario unless the two were lovers and ultra gooey lovers who had pet names for each other and wore matching clothes... I've never met anyone vaguely like that by the way). The topics of conversations for women without men or kids usually revolve around work, travel, partying, social occasions, friends, health issues, dreams and aspirations, latest entertainment, collections and so on. Basically all of those conversations attached women with a few variations according to freedom from kiddy related obligations that suck up time like a black hole.

...   See what I mean? This is from a 500 up edition strong manga called Bleach that's been converted to anime and is hugely popular. I should mention that the females in this manga, while occasionally good at fighting do not tend to match up or be portrayed realistically (fantasy fiction realism that is).

The conclusion of all this is that the portrayal of women's conversations in fiction is fairly blinkered and the topics rearranged in importance and emphasis, with a great many dropping away into non-existence. Not to mention that these conversations are often portrayed as light, fluffy, of little importance and an annoyance or something to be laughed at.

Why this has come about is likely due to the following (in no particular order):

• Cultural expectations - deeply tied into the creation of stereotypes, cultural expectations are what we expect women to be. Our expectations deeply affect how we women and what is demanded of them but these expectations can often be damaging and restrictive.
• Gender stereotypes - seen as the norm or standard when they are hyperboles or blinkered view points. Gender stereotypes come from cultural expectations and acceptance that's built up over generations. They also change somewhat though the eras but often are some of the last things to change with any social or cultural development, mainly as stereotypes can be used as weapons to deride or downgrade (weapons are always useful as we're a fighty bunch).
• Writing trends - the publishers and producers guide writers and creators to create stories that meet audience expectations and the audience's ability to accept. The writers and creators follow the current popular or fashionable styles in order to gain acceptance from publishers and producers and/or market share with a primed audience.
• Audience acceptance - the audience has grown to accept this type of conversation the most so writers and creators appease the audience by giving it what it can accept. 
• This will increase the popularity of a story as it doesn't challenge the audience too much.
• Audience expectations - the audience has grown to expect this type of conversation the most so writers and creators appease the audience by giving it what it expects. This will increase the popularity of a story.
• Creator bias - the creator writes what is believed to be real but it is in fact rather skewed. The creator writes unrealistic scenes as that's what the creator wants women portrayed as for various purposes from money through to personal belief.
• Plot necessities - the conversation has to go somewhere to explain the characters' internal feelings. The character needs to be featured but there's little personality attributed other than stereotypical ones.

So, with such a complicated mess causing the fictional conversations between women to be so skewed, can they be fixed? A short answer: yes. If writers and creators develop stories with women portrayed in better light then trends with change and audience acceptance and expectations with change and from there culture slowly changes. There are a few difficult hurdles along the way like our own internal bias and selling a product that isn't currently of fashion but may set one instead but what's life without a few hurdles?

And while we're at it, why not even the casts out, let women fight and plan on equal footing, throw aside the far too overt sexiness of the current powerful women set and go for the sexy as she is no bullshit all out power broker or fighter? Sexiness is in the confidence more than the black leather, at least for those who aren't teen boys f*p*ing away. Why not try to writing relationships that aren't stuck in the early high school "does s/he love me?" stage? Why not try writing relationships where the woman holds the power and makes most of the decisions? Action heroines aren't the only ones capable of running a show. Try to imagine a relationship not revolving around nagging, money and family planning. You'll find a pleasant surprise waiting. There are a few ground breakers out there but more is required. But if all this can't be done, please drop the teary conversations on men, the raving conversations on shoes and the cringe-worthy ones on periods. Please. Give me a break, especially on the shoes front.

Are witches evil b*tches?

In fiction, women often get categorised. Men too, but I'll touch on that later. Also I'm not going anywhere near what happens in reality at the moment. In all but the latest wave of fiction, women are often made out to be saints, martyrs or whores. But the witch is often created and categorised as somewhere else entirely. In fact, for a very long time being a witch is one of the few roles outside of religion in which a female character could be truly evil, powerful and b*tchy.

The phrase "witch b*tch" probably comes from the fact that it rhymes more than anything but it does illuminate what witches are often seen as because of their supposed evilness. (Just to help: a b*tch, meaning a person and not a dog, is defined as a spiteful or unpleasant woman. I don't mean a person who is completely subservient to another or a sex slave.) Even amongst the so-called evil witches though, there are many who could be classed as simply b*tchy or just misunderstood.

On a side note, there are those witches who are purposely written or acted as good so they can be counterpoints to the traditional bad, evil, creepy, disgusting or threatening etc. witch but by doing this the good witches often read like saints. Having witches squished back into one of the top three boxes women are placed is a sad thing indeed. Only when they're given a little extra character than goodness do they come alive (as it were) in any way. At least as a b*tch or as an evil crone the witch has personality and a bit of freedom.

In the latest wave of books with witch characters written for women to appreciate there are many witches who are just women with powers. By 'just women' I mean believably constructed characters with the faults, flaws, drives and desires that women often have. But this type of characterisation of females and witches is a very recent trend in literature, leaving the vast bulk of known and popular witches written with a mind towards the roles of women in society, thus saints, martyrs, whores and the sometimes available role of the evil b*tch.

I took a little look at some of the more famous witches thought to be evil b*tches to see if they really should be interpreted as such.

The three witches in Shakespeare's Macbeth are manipulative and secretive but they are more prophets than anything else. Macbeth's evils are all his own and just because they can see events to come doesn't mean they should stop them or stop him. A warning is adequate enough if you're on the side of the Fates. If it is meant to be then who are they to change Macbeth's fate? These witches just know their place in the scheme of things and have a little fun in bamboozling the bad man. I'd class these witches as neutral observers who wish they could do more but can't so they have their fun where they can get it.

 

The Wicked Witches of the West, East and South from L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz are all portrayed as ugly evil crones. The Wicked Witch of the West is only really known by what's been said of her after her death. Together, the three witches set about trying to take over Oz so they could rule it together, a plan that went awry when Dorothy appear to squish one flat. They were into slavery and torture with the remaining two wicked witches repeatedly attempted to murder Dorothy (now that's how you tell children's stories) out or spite, jealousy and revenge. Definitely an evil bunch of b*tch witches.

The Grand High Witch from Roald Dahl's The Witches is the leader of all the witches on the planet and so is the epitome of witchiness in this book. She is determined to destroy children and orders all her subordinate witches to do so. Failure leads to punishment. She likes trapping children in paintings, turning them into slugs or hot dogs. She is intolerant, demanding, impatient, volatile, aggressive, tyrannical and evil. She also doesn't mind turning adults into mice. She is scary and evil. But I don't know about b*tch unless intolerant, demanding and impatient with her fellow witches classes as such. She's definitely unpleasant. Let's just say, close enough. The Grand High Witch can be classed as a b*tch witch.

Morgan La Fey from various Arthurian tales is a strange character. She has been written by several different authors and so interpreted in several different ways. Because of this she has a legend of her own like Arthur does but few others of the Arthurian tales. Only Lancelot and to some extent Guinevere come close. Morgan is sometimes the evil, power-hungry witch, sometimes acting like Eve and bringing about the downfall of man's glory but the more interesting interpretations is where she is given motivations other than just to gain power or destroy the world. Morgan La Fay has been characterised as misunderstood, maligned and disregarded daughter of Arthur's mother, the Lady Igraine, and her first husband Gorlois, Duke of Cornwall. She's also been written in as a healer. In the another interpretation she's made out as an adulterer and so becomes the whore as well as the evil b*tch (she hates Guinevere because Guinevere kicked her out of the court for adultery). I think it gets a bit much at this point. In the end Morgan La Fey or Morgana is whatever we decide she is at the time and almost none of it comes from the earliest writings. In those, she barely has any character at all, just a mention. So to me Morgana is our perception of women through the ages, bad women in particular, and I have to say the picture isn't pretty.

Queen from Snow White by the Brothers Grimm. A true b*tch witch from start to finish. Every evil act she does is our of jealousy and envy and spite. Don't cross this witch, she'll kill you for an insult alone.

Endora from Bewitched came close to being a b*tch witch but I see her more as a disappointed mother, one frustrated that her daughter is squashing her true self just to be loved by one she sees as a complete nitwit. Anyone would crack under those circumstances and occasionally shrink the nitwit down to the size of a toy soldier. And she wasn't all bad because she'd listen to her daughter and eventually remove the spells. As to those fierce looks, as seen above, don't you get those on the faces of every mother? So wouldn't motherhood be more appropriate than the b*tch witch interpretation?

(By the way, I love the dotty Aunt Clara in Bewitched. A beautiful character and one you could forgive of anything.)

Helena Markos or the Mother of Sights from Suspiria is a truly hideous creation and appears as the epitome of the evil crone witch. Personally, I think she surpasses b*tch and evil and goes straight on to inhuman and that's what scares us the most about her. She is ancient and together with her two sister witches she manipulates world events. In this respect she's like Morgan Le Fay, invested in politics and the course of humanity. She acts mostly to survive, disguising herself and remaining aloof, faking her own death so she could act as her own star pupil and run the dance academy. She is only killed because of her frail state (something that doesn't quite make sense to me but that's fiction for you). Her sisters also die in the later films Inferno and The Mother Of Tears. Strangely though, despite being evil there isn't much of the b*tch in her at all. I'd just class her as evil incarnate or inhuman.

So are witches evil b*tches? Roughly even odds, I'd say, if you don't count the saintly ones. If witches were real and like this I'd steer clear for the sake of survival, until proven otherwise. It seems the best bet on living to see another day.

But if you are going to write a witch character I don't advise using this character to represent either witches or women as evil b*tches. It just doesn't equate either in fiction or reality or both. Witches can no longer be used as examples of women corrupted by power because they're weak willed, women being b*tches, women being evil or anything else.

Luckily, you probably wouldn't get printed even if you did write such drivel.